Chipfat and a Bacon Roll

In a week which has seen the sacking of the Portsmouth Manager, could we be seeing something similar in the Hockey world? Amid cries for getting rid of the foreign manger, and replacing him with an English Manager who understands the grass roots game [Ed: surely astroturf knowledge would be better?!?!], our spies told us that Clarke was summoned to the Vicarage Road HQ.

Having been hauled before a hastily convened board meeting to discuss "Playing Issues", the beleagured Clarke was believed to have been told that the results in the next few weeks could be crucial.

Fearing for his job, Clarke's team selection for the game against the high flying Guildford Shadows was telling. Out went some of the stalwarts from this season to make way for Sumit 'Chopper' Bhasin, Ed 'Wobble' Sorrell and Dave 'Postie' Maitland.

Valley defend a short corner

It was a determined Valley that started the game under the watchful eyes of the Chairman, who had made his way from his Executive Cottage to Umpire the game.

Valley started well, with the defensive duties being performed solidly and Postie, Jimmy and Kevin linking successfully when going forward. Ed added some stability to the right side of defence and a useful outlet when attacking from our own 16.

Highlights from the Valley view point were an incredibly mazy run from Ed with the resulting cross ending up in the back of the net. Unfortunately Postie was unable to connect with it as it went on it's way. The other highlight was Bacon going commando.. diving about to distract the opposition.

And so the first half ended goalless. The second half continued with more of the same, Guildford playing the ball around and Valley marking tightly and attempting to hit Guildford on the counter attack.

Postal Delivery (2nd Class)

5 minutes into the second half, Guildford lifted the ball into the D, JC flapped at it in midair and missed. The ball landed fortuitously at the feet of a Guildford player who turned and shot at goal. A deflection from a deperate defensive lunge, took the ball past Chipfat for the first goal.

On a later attack, with the Guildford forward preparing to strike at goal, an axe came down, neatly taking lumps out of the oppo's stick. The result was swift and strong. The Yellow card dished out to Sumit cost him his Gary Lineker career sending off clean sheet and a cold stand at the side of the pitch.

The ensuing Penalty flick gave Chipfat a chance to maintain his 100% record this season. Clearly a fan of the Grobelaar shuffle, Derek shimmied, and threw himself to his left. Although there was a suspicion that he didn't quite touch it onto the post, he had now conceded 0 from 2 attempts.

Valley reshuffled and continued to play the game that was serving them well.

Having weathered the storm, and back to 11, Valley were looking forward to the final whistle. However there was still a final chapter to this story. During a prolonged period of Guildford pressure, with the Valley defence was holding strong, the final whistle sounded with a short corner yet to be taken.

Jimmy prepares to receive

As the ball was played in and passed between Guildford players, Ed found himself in possession of the ball. Amid cries of "get rid of it" he played over the backline and another short was given. After the barracking dished out to Ed had settled down the corner was taken. The ball found itself on the stick of a Guildford Winger who shot at goal and caught a deflection which took it past Chipfat and the despairing Bacon on the line.

The game was over and Valley had performed well but had been cruelly beaten by two deflected goals. The Defensive pack turned on Ed, crediting him with an assist on the second Guildford goal. Then it was back to the club to cool down and sink a few beers to ease the pain.

STOP PRESS Word has reached us of an adminstrative cock-up which leaves the 2nd team languishing at the bottom of the table with a record -1 points. Surely it won't be too long until we hear Clarke receiving the "full backing of the board"....

Man-of-the-Match: Bacon for his excellent Roll.

Thanks to Garfy for umpiring.

[Ed: Thanks to Jane Simms for her photographic skills ]