Republic of South Africa v. Thames Valley 2nd XI

The media hype surrounding the advent of this fixture had provoked a national debate: should the manager really be experimenting with outlandish formations in a meaningful international; could we really entrust the team to a foreign captain, whose Scottish heritage had caused many fans to question his commitment and zeal; was precocious striker Jono Fisher going to feature in the starting eleven, given his recent conduct on the pitch, and his renowned hair-trigger temper? Amid this frenzy of press speculation, the players themselves had maintained a tacit unity, journalistic sharks thrown no more than a chum of rehearsed epithets to fuel their salacious interrogations. It was the unspoken intent of the team to denounce, then educate, their detractors from the pitch: a battle of words would be, ultimately, redundant.

Merton pile on the pressure

Thus was the starting line-up announced, an hour before push-back. The omni-contentious issue of who would man the posts was resolved. Derek Fryer had now fully established himself as the Valley Number One, ousting the now-villified 'Calamity Kit'. The manager had decided to revert to the standard defensive line-up of Biddle, Johnson, Smithy and Aris. Two players fresh from the ranks of the reserves had been called up, affectionately known to the fans as Jimmy and Pete. Moppett had been called back from international retirement, and, uncharacteristically, was playing left-half; Clarke also joined the midfield. Despite his critics, the tempestuous Fisher made a return from a three-match suspension to partner Kevin; a natural symbiosis to menace the most resolute of defences. 'Calamity Kit', in a reversal of fortune, found himself as a rolling forward.

The release of the South African line-up was eagerly received. De Boer was the obvious choice in goal, what with De Boer out with a sprained wrist. At centre-back, De Boer would command the defence, flanked by De Boer and De Boer. A none-too-surprising addition to the team was De Boer at sweeper, replacing De Boer, whose club form continued to marr his chances for selection. The anticipated midfield diamond (affectionately known to fans as De beers) of De Boer, De Boer, De Boer and De Boer was almost intact, save for De Boer, whose wife had given birth just hours before push-back. De Boer was therefore to receive his first cap for his country in De Boer's place. The strike partnership of De Boer and De Boer remained unchanged.

The home spectators, eager to see the 'Big Five' in action (the stellar combination of De Boer, De Boer, De Boer, De Boer and De Boer), roared on their team as they exited the tunnel and spread out across the plastic savannah. A less-distinctive growl greeted Valley, who herded defensively at the other end of the ground.

Jono opens his account for the season

A veritable safari of attacking and defensive hockey characterised the first half. The Springboks gambolled to and fro, side-stepping the predations of the Valley defence. Aris proved to be a formidable barrier- or rather a last hurdle- at the rearguard; some excellent last-ditch defending from Smithy and Johnson also thwarted the innumerable advances. However, short of arming Fryer with an elephant gun, Valley eventually conceded.

To their Credit, Valley kept their spirits firmly raised, and produced some precision passing around the ground. Despite conceding two more goals, Valley carried the ball deep into the 'Boks half, and won a short corner. A slick python of a push-out resulted in a goalmouth scramble, with a bellicose Fisher stampeding through the masses to slot home a rejoinder.

Half-time came and went. The 'Boks were back to their best, firing in goal after goal. However, Valley's refusal to kowtow to the scoreline and bow their heads more than irked their opposition.

Derek is still smiling

However, Jono Fisher soon proved his critics right, marring a hitherto immaculate performance with the most perfidious of challenges. Not content just to tackle his opposite number, De Boer, Fisher decided to hoist him squarely over his left shoulder; De Boer was left struggling on the ground for breath. Appeals were made, but Fisher's cunning was enough to deceive even the most experienced of umpires, and De Boer himself was reprimanded for profanity. Idle threats were made to Fisher, but they lacked substance- no sane man would trifle with Fisher when his blood was up.

A lull in South Africa's attack gave rise to a rather placid five minutes of hockey. In an attempt to buoy the crowd, Moppett took it upon himself to liven the game up, producing a glorious cross across the face of his own goal, which narrowly avoided interception by the centre-forward. The expression on Aris's face was not one of amusement.

The final score stood at 12-1, in favour of the home team, but was by no means an indication of the effort applied by Valley. There was no disgrace in being out-played by the favourites for the league title.

Thanks to Moppett for the match report.

Thanks to Bails for umpiring

[Ed: Thanks to Jane Simms for her photographic skills ]